Websites, review lists and the languishing author

A very quiet day today, people. This ruddy cold has really wiped me out all day and I’ve been languishing all over the flat making faint groaning sounds. So, a normal weekend then, here in the deep south. At least I am keeping Mr Lucozade in business. Not to mention Mr Kleenex. If there was ever an Olympic sport in snorting like an old horse, the gold medal would already have my name on it. As it were.

I have not been entirely useless though. I have revamped the Goldenford site book pages so each book in the main listing has a thumbnail picture of the front cover next to it, which you can see here. Though I say it myself, we do some shit-hot covers here in Goldenford country.

I’ve also been thrilled to discover that the lovely and hugely talentedLisa Glass has very kindly added A Dangerous Man to her Book Depository Top Ten List, calling it An erotic page-turner about a violent artist and his stockbroker lover. Gripping plot and sharp characterisation. Gosh, thanks, Lisa - much appreciated indeed!

Ooh, and we have a cuckoo in the street. Joy! We’re hearing it every morning at about 10.30 at the moment - it’s obviously a late riser, though I suppose it doesn’t have the children to take care of so can probably party all night, the little goer. You never see the damn thing of course, but it’s a wonderful sound.

Tonight, I’m collapsing in front of “Dr Who”, which has a marvellous-sounding Agatha Christie plot. And of course there’s “Pushing Daisies”. And, I hope, an early night and a more energetic day tomorrow.

Today’s nice things:

1. Updating the Goldenford site
2. Lisa’s review of A Dangerous Man
3. TV.

Anne Brooke
Anne’s website
Goldenford Publishers - with pictures!

Gifting, doctors and a surprise beginning

First off, I do have to say that actually last night in London wasn’t as strange and scary as I’d feared. I did still feel that I was putting on a costume that no longer suited me, but it was okay. Perhaps it’s everyone else that’s normal and just me who’s strange? Lordy, no, don’t answer me on that one. I also felt pleased as a couple of times, I did say something honest during the conversation - not in an over-the-top way, but I just said a sentence or two about (a) mutual friends I no longer see, and (b) church stuff, and then moved on. Ye gods, even I can be real during social interaction sometimes - well, it has been known …

Anyway, to today. There is good news and some not-so-good news. I am incredibly pleased that the agent has got back to me about The Gifting and has said the magic words: It reads wonderfully well, the characterisation works and the writing and story flows. You know, that makes me feel so damn good that I’m going to type it again: It reads wonderfully well, the characterisation works and the writing and story flows. High-five, captain - it looks like I can on occasion turn dross into something a tad shinier then. Yes. As a result, he’s going to send it out to five UK fantasy publishers and six US fantasy publishers on Monday. Ah, I feel good now, Carruthers, but alas soon the rejections will start to roll in, you know. Still, I’m hanging onto the moment for as long as I damn well can.

Also today, I have gone for my dreaded smear test (groan) - it’s so hard to make jolly conversation with the nurse if you’re in that position really, but we did our best. There’s something to be said for the Empire Spirit after all. So that’s one doctorly act done. The other isn’t quite so straightforward, I fear. I’ve finally (after a chasing telephone call last week) had the results of my ultrasound scan & hormonal blood tests back. The good news is that I am happily trogging on with my oestrogen fix without any horrendous side-effects, hurrah! The less good news is that they’re not that happy about the non-standard cyst on my left ovary and I have to go back in July for a chat and a recommended ovarian tumour marker test. The words “tiny” and “for reassurance only” crop up in the letter, but this naturally doesn’t make that glorious swoop of terror that comes upon one when reading such things any the less. (Hell, there’s a phrase I should be able to use sometime.) Naturally, because I have never been able to resist temptation, I have Googled the damn thing, which hasn’t made it any better either. Damn you for an Internet-aware idiot, madam! You’ll be pleased to hear however that I didn’t stay on that particular site for long - even I know that sometimes less is more.

Galvanised by this into abnormality, I have at least regrouted the bathroom tiles in a cheat’s way so everything looks cleaner and shinier. Goodness me, that grouting pen is a marvel! Lord H will be pleased. Mind you, he is still streets ahead of me in the Spouse Awards running at the moment - while I was in London last night, he cleaned the whole flat, hoovered, swept the floors and washed all the windows down. Oh, and he also did my ironing. Whilst saving the universe and brokering World Peace as well. Perhaps I should go out more often? I fear, alas, that now my Wife Points will never be enough!

The news about The Gifting also seems to have opened some kind of door to a decision. I’ve started the next in the fantasy trilogy, Hallsfoot’s Battle. Good Lord! So I now have a character list, a note of themes and the grand total of 463 words scattered over the first and final chapters. Hell, it’s a start. And yes, I have written the end, which might even remain the end when I arrive at it. Who knows? Only another 139,500 words to go and I’m there then. Hey ho.

And I’ve read Harlan Coben’s The Woods. Bloody superb. Best thing he’s bloody done for years. I loved it! In spite of the fact that he does use some of my basic scenarios and death scene ideas from both Maloney’s Law and The Bones of Summer, dammit. Ah, great writing minds think alike, you know - I wish!! Or perhaps there are only three crime novels plots after all?… Anyway, it’s a wonderful book and you should all rush out and buy it. Goddammit.

Oh, and I’ve got a cold. Bugger, eh.

Today’s nice things:

1. The agent’s response to The Gifting - hell, I’ll type it again just in case you missed it: It reads wonderfully well, the characterisation works and the writing and story flows.
2. The Coben book
3. Starting the next novel.

Anne Brooke
Anne’s website
Goldenford Publishers

Goldenford and the reluctant socialiser

Have spent this morning updating the Goldenford website with information on Irene Black’s upcoming novel, Darshan - which is a gripping and literary tale of a young Indian woman’s search for her UK roots. You can read the beginning here. We’re hoping to publish it over the summer, so watch this space!

I’ve also updated the News section with the details of Goldenford’s June visit to Germany - a Surrey publisher goes international, so all exciting stuff!

For the rest of the day … well, quite frankly, I’ve napped. And chilled. Lordy but I need it. Haven’t even faced the ironing yet, but hell these things can wait. We will just have to be crumpled for a while. A state of being we should be used to, after all.

I’ve also decided that - bearing in mind all my editing is done and that’s the promise I made, at least to myself - that I will go up to London tonight (reluctantly) to see the old University girls. Actually I was originally intending simply not to go and not say anything, as I assumed my editing wouldn’t be finished. Lord H did suggest earlier in the week (when, yes, I’ve been agonising) that the answer would be to work more slowly, but I can’t do that. The editing speed is the editing speed; it’s either “on” or “off”. So I can’t say I’m looking forward to my night out. Sorry, as I do know that probably makes me some kind of bitch with no idea of the value of “friendship” (inverted commas are deliberate), but I’m just not. Ah well. Unwillingly to school is the feeling here. And I’m very, very twitchy. None of us seem to see each other as we really are any more - nor do we want to, in my opinion - so it feels like flogging the dead horse (apologies for the cliche) of friendship when it’s been down and mouldering for some years now. It’s just that nobody’s noticed it. Or perhaps we’ve just ignored it is the more accurate statement. Anyway, ye gods, what an image. Sorry.

And, hell, it’s London. I don’t much like going to London. God, sorry about the moaning too. I’d slap myself into some sense if I could summon the energy.

One thing though - I’ve moved on in my “next novel thoughts” to thinking I don’t want to do a comedy after all. At least not today. Dark grittiness, angst and pain are more the thing. Hell, it’s just so much more me, dahhlings.

Today’s nice things:

1. Updating the Goldenford site
2. Napping
3. Um, um, coming home later!

Anne Brooke
Anne’s website
Goldenford Publishers

Maloney done and the Golden Girls’ roadshow

Success! I’ve finished the final run-through of Maloney’s Law and have sent it off to PD Publishing. I’m happy and I think they’re happy, so that’s a relief! It feels so damn wonderful to be at this stage, I have to say. It’s come at the right time for me too - what with a holiday booked for the end of May, it’s going to be lovely to have a break.

This afternoon, the Goldenford Girls and I have been at the Guildford Institute giving our “Writing from our Roots” talk. Sans Irene sadly, as she needed to be elsewhere, but I read her talk out for her and, really, the whole event went astonishingly well. The audience seemed to love it (hurrah!), we had loads of questions at the end and people bought books. Double hurrah! I even sold four copies of Thorn in the Flesh which filled me with joy. And an arts organiser from Farnham took our cards as she’d like us to come and give a talk to them as well. Gosh indeed! Also lovely to catch up with Peter, our retired University registrar (and the very kind man who actually gave me my job, against all the odds, I’m sure!), who was there. And who also bought a copy of Thorn. Thank you, Peter!

Tonight, I’m going to chill out. Lord knows I deserve it. Though I do fear the ironing pile is calling out to me, dammit … Back, back, you beast, back!…

Today’s nice things:

1. Finishing Maloney and thinking yes
2. The Goldenford talks
3. Selling some copies of Thorn.

Anne Brooke
Anne’s website
Goldenford Publishers - giving you the hottest books around, don’t you know!

Presents, Bones and Maloney

Was rushing to get to work today, and I’m a little late, dammit, so will have to make up the time over lunch. Or possibly tonight. Depending. I have managed to post my stepfather’s birthday card and present though – but it’s not the present I sent off for, double dammit. I’ve had to improvise so, as and when the other one finally arrives, I’ll have to save that up for Father’s Day. I’m also not entirely convinced the package I’ve made up will get there – my present wrapping skills are pants, so most of the sellotape ends up in my hair and on my nose, and there’s an awful lot of swearing. Still, one can only hope, eh.

I’ve also sent off the whole of The Bones of Summer to The Literary Consultancy and so now I’ll have to wait and see what they make of it. Goodness, what a busy morning I’ve had already!

And I’ve taken my medical questions about Bones to the wonderful Steph in the Health Centre once more to get some understanding of what would really happen in my various scary scenarios throughout the novel. I do think my questions, and indeed my plots, are getting stranger – goodness only knows what the poor woman thinks, but she does keep smiling bravely. Equally interestingly, we postponed our meeting a little as she emailed me to say she was at home waiting for a log cabin to arrive – really, there are some things one daren’t ask. UPDATE: Thanks, Steph – you were wonderful and I now know what’s supposed to happen when. You’re a star!

Back in the office, we are now all really concerned about Carol – last year she went to Cuba and when she came back Castro died. This week she’s just come back from China – and now we have a substantially more terrible event. I don’t think we’re going to allow her to go abroad again – the Carol Effect is more far-reaching than even we had anticipated … Or at least in places beginning with “C”. Croydon had better beware then. Seriously though, a terrible thing – we really don’t want any more disasters this year. The world has had its fill of them.

And I’ve been doing bucket-loads of work to the Project Welcome website so that people can know roughly how Freshers’ Week is going to be. It always takes at least six months planning and we’re already well into that period. I think it will be a lot better this year – I hope so anyway!

At lunchtime, I wandered round the campus, but not too quickly bearing in mind the heat, and watched some ducklings. Here’s an untitled poem about them:

Three Japanese girls
pause by the lake

take snaps on their mobiles
of a family of ducklings.

I wonder what they’d think
if the ducklings

took snaps back.

This afternoon I’ve been flicking through the Faiths in Higher Education Chaplaincy report – good to get up to speed on this sort of thing, you know. Could have done with more pictures however.

Tonight, I should have been going to Guildford Writers, even though I’ve got nothing to read out – but instead I’m dedicating the evening to more of the Maloney’s Law edit, as I’m in the zone now. Sort of. I managed six chapters last night, so will be starting from Chapter 12 tonight.

Today’s nice things:

1. Sending off Bones for its first editorial
2. Getting the medical know-how from Steph
3. Editing Maloney.

Anne Brooke
Anne’s website
Goldenford Publishers

Reflexology, Maloney and the Dean’s Trousers …

Not so bad at work today, for a Monday anyway. There’s been a queue a mile long (at least) outside our window for the Students’ Union end-of-term parties and they’re all very loud and excited about it. Can’t say I blame them! Though by the end of the morning, they were mostly all sorted and peace – of a kind – has descended.

The rather worrying thing about this morning though has been the discovery of the Dean’s trousers and jacket placed carefully over his chair in the office. Hmm, Andrea and I are now concerned that a naked Dean is wandering round the campus terrorising the students, but we are too afraid to go looking for him. That would be far more than the call of duty should expect, I feel. We can only hope that he did have something to change into …

Meanwhile, to calm my shattered nerves (dahlings, the heat, the concept of Monday, etc etc …), I rely on this lunchtime’s reflexology session. Where would I be without it? And the walk to and from the therapy centre was extremely pleasant too. Always good to have time to dream. And to think what the heck I’m going to write next. No decisions made yet though. I’m tempted by my dabblings into the comedy crime take-off story I started a while back, but then again I do like the dark side too. Ah, choices, choices.

Tonight, I will pop into see Gladys on my way home, and then I’m set in for the night carrying on with the edit for Maloney’s Law. I managed to get to the start of Chapter Six yesterday, so I’m hoping to have done at least another couple more chapters by the end of the evening. For the moment, my focus just has to be there. Funny how I always find the edit far more intensive than the actual writing of the thing, on the whole. And more thrilling too.

Oh and the Dean came back, fully-clothed thank the Lord. It’s a spare suit apparently. That’s saved the University’s blushes, for sure.

Today’s nice things:

1. Pondering on the Mystery of the Dean’s Trousers
2. Reflexology
3. Editing Maloney.

Anne Brooke
Anne’s website
Goldenford Publishers

Reveiws, birds and back to Maloney

Have had a lovely review from Irene for Thorn in the Flesh which she’s kindly put on Amazon and which I reproduce below:

“Another winner from Anne Brooke. Thorn in the Flesh demonstrates once again Brooke’s versatility and literary dexterity as she takes us through the complex, disturbed world of Kate Harris, traumatised by violence and haunted by the past. Don’t expect a comfortable read, but do expect a gripping one. Thoroughly recommended.”

Thanks, Irene - much appreciated!

For today, Lord H and I have made the most of the glorious sunshine - gazing at birds at The Weir Wood Reserve. This included watching two sets of great crested grebes perform their mating dance - a wonderful and very balletic sight indeed - and gazing open-mouthed at the aerial dynamics of little terns (a first for us). What incredibly graceful birds they are too. Ooh, and we spotted an orange tip butterfly - another first! And very beautiful it was.

After that, we visited Nymans National Trust Gardens - which were lovely, but damned hot, Carruthers. Two-and-a-half miles of walking almost defeated me, I fear. I was also nabbed by the room stewards again, double dammit, who insisted on telling me everything about the family who used to live there when I’d actually only asked if that was Queen Mary in the photographs (it was). Anyway, I now know that the Messel family were terribly terribly posh, and terribly terribly polite and never under any circumstances raised their voices above a whisper. My response (which wasn’t appreciated) was to say that was probably because they had servants so didn’t need to, as well as having no drama in their lives. The room steward became somewhat snippety after that, so I left before I was overcome with the giggles. Really though, I can’t imagine anything worse than being trapped at the dining table with a family of whisperers. It all sounds very suspicious to me - though Lord H did look rather misty-eyed at the thought …

Back home, I have started the final technical edit to Maloney’s Law and am also giving it a final read-through as I go. The technical editor, Nancy, is a whizz on commas and US styling and I am obeying her every command. As well as acting on the very helpful suggestions she has on non-technical matters - thanks, Nancy! I must also admit that I’m really bloody enjoying it too. Maloney rocks - I love him. And his story. If I can say that myself at all. Actually I think I even love this book more than I do A Dangerous Man and, hell, that’s saying something.

And I’ve now finished Philip Gross’s poetry collection, Mappa Mundi. Some truly wonderful and punchy poems in there but, in truth, for me it just doesn’t work as a collection. The main theme is the relationship of people and things - and in my view he lets the “things” get in the way of the people a lot of the time. Worse, he lets them get in the way of the poem. So you read some of the work, and it’s as if you’ve been beaten to death by a list of objects which have no emotional significance or which have lost it somewhere. This is such a shame as he’s usually such a bloody good poet, and I’ve been so looking forward to reading this one. I think it would have been a lot better - and the truly shit-hot poems could have shone more easily - if it had either been cut in terms of the number of poems or there’d been some judicious editing of stuff. The overall feeling it’s left me with is exhaustion. Not what I was expecting at all.

Anyway, I will ease my fevered brow tonight by watching “Midsomer Murders” whilst drinking cocoa. That should do the trick.

And here’s this week’s haiku - as promised yesterday:

In the singing tree
nightingales quiver. Twilight
drifts through deep music.

Today’s nice things:

1. Irene’s review of Thorn
2. Weir Woods and Nymans
3. The Maloney edit.

Anne Brooke
Anne’s website
Goldenford Publishers

Bones edited and the Publicity Slapper

Double huzzahs! I have now finished the edit of The Bones of Summer and am making enquiries with The Literary Consultancy as to the the price of one of their worth-their-weight-in-gold critiques. Lordy, but I never leave the starting blocks without them. No matter how ruddy painful that process is - and believe me it’s painful.

In the meantime, I have joined in with the Harper Collins-based showcasing website, Authonomy and uploaded the first 10,000 words or so of all my books, except the best forgotten Hit List , on site for people to run screaming to the hills from. Lordy, but my grasp of grammar is in a class of its own. As is my grasp of cliche. Obviously. Mind you, as the site is still in Beta stage, it’s only open to guests at the moment, so the hordes of screaming people aren’t as loud as they may yet become. My advice is buy your earplugs now. It will be interesting to see how long the great HC will allow a self- and small publisher slapper like myself to remain on board for sure - but you know me: any chance of a bit of book publicity and I’m there, waving my pom-poms around and shouting for the Quality Unknowns. Interesting too how much, even at this early stage, Thorn in the Flesh is dividing opinion. People either love it - and Kate - or hate it. And her. Ah, the difficult novel. One always has one, you know. Though, that said, nobody’s commented on my gay stuff yet …

Lord H has also been away today on an OU course in Croydon (of all places!), so it’s been quiet here in the Surrey outback. But I have managed at last to grab my neighbour and have a chat with him. He’s looking a little better, but I think it’s going to take a while.

Tonight, we’ll be glued to “Dr Who” and then I must find out the latest on “Pushing Daisies”. Now there’s another thing people either love or hate. Lord H can’t stand it, but I’m utterly hooked. Be warned: in the future all programmes will be made this way.

Ooh and last night’s nightingale watch was fabulous. We even saw a couple of them singing. Lordy, but they’re sooo small and the sound is utterly glorious. I’ve written a haiku about it but, due to being completely obsessed with my writing routines, I will save it for tomorrow.

Today’s nice things:

1. Finishing the Bones edit
2. Playing around on the Authonomy site
3. TV.

Anne Brooke
Anne’s website
Goldenford Publishers

Golf, Bones and books

Have managed to edit another couple of chapters of The Bones of Summer today and am now on Chapter 21, p201. It’s the start of the end phase, if you see what I mean, so I’ll leave it till tomorrow now.

I’ve also played golf with Marian - Lordy, but we were rubbish. Goodness alone knows what the hell I was doing on the 8th hole, but Marian had to crawl into a bush twice in order to rescue my ball. And I was at that point still on the damn tee. Bloody hell eh!!! Believe me, 5 off the tee is not my best moment ever …

After that disaster, I popped into Godalming and managed to get all my shopping without irritating people or smashing anything. Makes a change from last week then. I even had quite a jolly conversation with the scary man in Boot’s, who now realises I’m insane and handled it accordingly. Probably the best way really.

I’ve also watched, as per the recommendation of Bill on MySpace, the gay comedy “Bedrooms and Hallways”. Thoroughly enjoyed it, so thanks for the tip-off, Bill! And yes, I did love the flatmate. And you can’t really go wrong with James Purefroy and Kevin McKidd, can you? It’s “Rome” all over again, but with comedy. And without the death, blood and gore. Though there’s nothing wrong with death, blood and gore, I have to say …

Tonight, Lord H and I are off to Pulborough Brooks to their Nightingale Festival, so best keep my ears open. There might even be a few nightjars too - you never know your luck.

And I’ve just finished reading a glorious short story collection - Laura Solomon’s Alternative Medicine. A cracking collection, with emotional acuity (hell, I like that phrase - it sounds like I know something!), humanity and depth. Well worth a read for sure.

Today’s nice things:

1. Editing
2. Books
3. Nightingales - I hope!

Anne Brooke
Anne’s website
Goldenford Publishers

Bones, Short Review and a slice or two of drama

Have managed to edit three chapters of The Bones of Summer today - hurrah! - and am now onto Chapter 18, Page 173. Well, gosh. And the more I read, the more I like Craig. Bloody hell, that’s a good thing, isn’t it? Would have been a ruddy disaster if I hadn’t. After all, I have to be in love with my main character if I’m to write anything worthwhile at all. And as they’re all (probably) aspects of me, that surely makes me the ultimate narcissist. No surprises there then. I suspect all writers would say the same too.

Meanwhile, the lovely Tania Hershman at The Short Review has turned her attention today to the possibility of reviewing self-published short story collections. Well, naturally, I’m all for it! Why miss out on quality after all? But you can read and join in with the discussion here. And thanks for raising the issue, Tania, and even mentioning my name - much appreciated!

This afternoon, I have visited my sick Guildford friend and had a great deal of fun attempting to round up a prescription for her. We got there in the end, thank goodness but, ye gods, the Burpham (that’s with an “f”, people - this is Surrey after all!) Sainsbury’s is extraordinarily large and scary. I don’t think I’ve ever been there on my own before. I do tend to hyperventilate in shops where I can’t see the exit. Hell, doesn’t everyone? Or maybe it is just me who’s the weird one … Sigh.

I also tried to call in on my neighbour who’s not very well at the moment, but he must have seen me coming and escaped. Not to worry - I shall try again tomorrow. He won’t get away that easily, you know.

Tonight, Lord H and I are off to the theatre to see two short plays under the heading of Footprints in the Sand at the Mill Studio. We’ve booked more at the Mill this season as the main theatre seems to have been given over almost entirely to plays that don’t really take our fancy at the moment. Which sometimes happens in a season. The main theatre is obviously ignoring my suggestions - as ever!

Today’s nice things:

1. The continuing edit
2. Tania’s self-publishing discussions
3. The theatre.

Anne Brooke
Anne’s website
Goldenford Publishers