Just back from wonderful Portugal and have started the no-doubt week-long traul through the washing. I am convinced that we are actually doing the washing of the whole boat (sorry, ship) and they will sneak in the flat when we’ve done it and send it back to its original owners.

Anyway, Portugal is wonderful and the river life and people are so much nicer than in Lisbon. It’s very relaxing just staring at the countryside go by, and having smiling servants provide you with wonderful meals and historical tid-bits. Fabulous. Particular highlights for me included the different birdlife - we saw a hoopoe (well, I saw it, and Lord H didn’t, but as we’re married and therefore we two are one, it counts), zillions of white storks, a golden eagle, a bevy of red kites, buzzards, countless sparrows, the odd tit (as it were) including one with a black-and-white striped head, black redstarts and - the crowning glory - a blue rock thrush. Which is a fabulous bird and a wonderful shade of blue. I also had a wonderful time on the helicopter flight - please give me more helicopter flights - it was the most exciting thing of the whole holiday! I want to own a helicopter now, or at least have regular rides in one. It was amazing. Lord H had stolen the sick bag from the plane just in case, but I never even thought of it once.

Also fell in love with Salamanca (our brief incursion into Spain) - it’s an gripping city with a spectacular past and the mellowest yellow stonework in the history of building. I’d love to go back. The Art Nouveau and Art Deco Museum was excellent too - my favourits were the Art Deco jugs coloured just like a long-tailed tit (pink, white and grey), although the exhibit of creepily lifelike dolls wasn’t one where you’d want to be trapped at night … especially with the dolls with more than one face …

In fact I’d love to go back to the River Douro in its entirety. I was quite weepy when we had to leave on Saturday. Oh, and I’ve learnt a new skill. The talented Jose (head waiter) gave us all napkin folding lessons on the last afternoon. I’m surprisingly skilled at making a tuxedo, Lord H is Master of the Boot, and Vanessa (hello, Vanessa!) was pretty good at the snail. Can’t wait for those long winter evenings, and I swear if today’s teenagers were given napkin-folding lessons, they’d be a lot calmer and stop killing each other. You can’t be cross with a napkin, you know.

And we have a Toilet Mystery: why was it that at no point during the week did the loo paper on the ship get any less? Lord H’s theory is that all our loo paper holders were attached to some hidden Master Loo Roll Provider in the bowels (sorry …) of the ship and were therefore constantly restocked to previous levels without the need for changing them. It’s a possibility at least - the Portuguese are an imaginative lot, you know.

We were also rather surprised by the lovely Monica’s (our wonderful guide) references to the Portuguese griffin. That had us flicking through our World Bird Guide for sure. If the Portuguese Mountains do indeed hold a cross between an eagle and a lion, then Lord H and I will be first in the queue for the climbing gear. However, a swift glance through a local bird guide at the end of the week told us that “grifo” is the Portuguese word for vulture, so a simple mistranslation cleared that one up. Rather a shame really …

Meanwhile, back to today: Lord H and I have visited Pulborough Brooks and I have at last seen a spoonbill - hurrah!!! Big result for me, for sure. We also saw a shelduck family, a woodpecker feeding its young and a family of bluetits, where the elder two were teaching the youngsters how to fly: this is a twig and here’s how you get there. Well, they have to learn somehow, you know.

So, this week I have two haikus - lucky you!

Helicopter trip
Clouds bank over sky
and my hand touches blue air:
we skim the Douro.

Pink and white and grey,
the Art Deco jugs shimmer:
long-tailed tits transformed.

Nice things:

1. River holidays
2. Different birds
3. Napkin-folding.

Anne Brooke
Anne’s website
Goldenford Publishers

Have finally managed to put Hallsfoot’s Battle on the website and you can find it here. Oh, and the photograph with the novel entry is Madeira. In case you’re wondering … While The Gifting one is of Egypt. A free book to the first person who leaves a comment attached to this journal entry telling me - correctly! - which photo was taken by Lord H and which was taken by me. Give reasons for your choice! Hell, never say I’m not nice on occasion. I’ll even waive postage. Mind you, the free book has to be one of mine, aha! Though you can’t have it until I’m back from my hols, sadly. If you’ve already got all of my current books, thank you, thank you a thousand times and you can have the next one instead. As well as my undying affection - which is probably in itself enough to terrify you all …

Have now reached the heady heights of 3000 or so words in Hallsfoot’s Battle and I know what’s happening in the next scene. Ha! That’s a bloody first then, Carruthers. However, I shall make it easier for myself by not writing that particular episode until I’m back from Portugal at the end of next week. That way, it should be easier to get into. Famous last words, eh.

Anyway, I must also say that I’ve had an utterly wonderful game of golf with Marian today. It was my best game ever, in fact. I couldn’t put a foot wrong, even if I tried, triple huzzahs! My tee-shots were spectacular and I could have putted for Britain and not put the country to shame. I think it must be to do with yesterday’s massage - my shoulders are still so relaxed that my swing felt different. As it were. I would plan a massage before every golf game I play now, but I fear the money would soon run out. Sigh.

I’ve also had a haircut - even though I’m growing it - so now look quite acceptable for my holidays. Although of course when I wash it tomorrow morning, all attempts at style (I have a style? Ye gods and little fishes …) will be lost.

So, tonight I will be making a feeble attempt at cleaning and a concerted attempt at packing. And hoping that the rain in Spain (or rather Portugal) is not as torrential as the forecast indicates. Oh hell, it’s a holiday - what do I care? Foreign rain is nicer!

I hope you all have a a fabulous bank holiday and a glorious week ahead, and I’ll catch up next weekend when I’m back.

Hugs!

Today’s nice things:

1. Getting Hallsfoot online
2. Golf
3. Haircut
4. And holidays!!

Anne Brooke
Anne’s website
Goldenford Publishers

Had a lovely Clarins facial and massage today - utter bliss. Charlotte (the therapist) had to struggle to make some kind of inroad into my stiff-as-a-wall back though. And as she’s on the petite side of petite, it was quite a struggle. But I do feel better now and my shoulders have come down - if temporarily - from my ears. Phew! Bad backs are the Writers’ Curse, you know. One of them at least. I really have to go back to my daily relaxation exercises - they do make such a difference.

I also managed to pick up a copy of June’s Writers’ Forum magazine, which contains a very challenging article about print-on-demand writer-publishing and the current Amazon (shame on you, Amazon …) nightmare by the wonderful Siobhan Curham. This includes several mentions of Goldenford (what a fabulous publisher!) and some quotes from me. Plus a picture. Gosh, thanks, Siobhan! Fabulous article, and I nearly look human too - how do you do that?!?

For the rest of the day, I have been pulling out words, slowly slowly, from the deep dark pit to add to Hallsfoot’s Battle. Lordy, but it’s an agonising process today. I’ve managed to finish off Johan’s small first section, plus put the finishing touches to the Snow Raven’s initial part (yes, I am bringing the Snow Raven more centre stage this time - he deserves it - but hell it’s hard writing bird-speak!). But the main voices of this first chapter belong to Annyeke and, of course, Simon, and I need to focus on those more. Or at all really. The first chapter won’t be done without them - the ideas are floating around but I’m too tired to grab them and make them concrete. Hey ho.

So I’ve taken a break and had a much-needed nap. Double bliss. I might do some more to it this evening, but we’ll see. Not much TV on really - I haven’t actually got round to committing to “Heroes” at all - but I might watch “Earl”.

Today’s nice things:

1. Clarins treatments
2. Siobhan’s article in Writers’ Forum magazine
3. Wrestling that damn Snow Raven down and getting something vaguely sensible out of it.

Anne Brooke
Anne’s website
Goldenford Publishers

Woke up to a gloriously kind review of Thorn in the Flesh today from the utterly lovely Sarah Watts on the Writewords site, which I include below:

“I’ve been meaning to write a review of Thorn in the Flesh for some time. It’s taken a while partly because I haven’t known quite what to say. It’s like a discovery you look forward to sharing with someone special - but you don’t want to tell them too much and spoil the surprise. Surprising it certainly is. Having read three of Anne’s novels now one might expect to see a certain pattern emerging – qualities in the writing that makes you think – ah yes, this is typical; this is similar to what she did before. Many of us are happy to read our favourite authors confident that they will deliver more of the same ingredients that worked so well before. No – think again. Each of Anne’s books is gloriously individual – each builds on the strength of what has gone before to deliver something new – a fresh experience for the reader. When I read Thorn in the Flesh I literally could not put it down. Anne delivers a compelling story that keeps you turning the pages. I found her strong central character Kate entirely believable. She is depicted with searing honesty and the character is fearless in her refusal to compromise – to conform to expectation. I imagine that because of this Kate is a character the reader will love – or love to hate. Here is a woman who is attacked in the sanctuary of her own home – whose certainties and securities are torn away – what happens next? Where does she go from here? Thorn in the Flesh is not a comfortable read, it provides no cosy solutions and ultimately it gives no easy answers. It gets under the skin of the reader and causes you to look into the void – to imagine the unimaginable. It is to the credit of the author that the character’s journey is so believable. To me there is truth in the story and integrity in the writing. The story taps into the resonance of ancient myth delivered with the pace and assurance of a modern thriller. Read and enjoy.”

Gosh, thanks hugely, Sarah – that’s really made my day! I particularly liked the phrase “taps into the resonance of ancient myth delivered with the pace and assurance of a modern thriller”. I think I might put that on my Christmas cards this year. And Lord H also says that it’s a strapline that could well be used for Student Care Services here at the University. Heck, he might well be right … Your degree? A mix of ancient myth and modern thriller - you know you want one: we’ll make sure you get one … Cue evil laughter.

This morning, I finally (finally!) have managed, with IT’s help, to get my printers working. So I have indulged in a veritable orgy of printing – gosh, that’s another phrase I’ll use again, I’m sure. And I’m finishing off my minutes of yesterday and generally getting organised before next week’s holiday – as today is my last day in the office before then. Hurrah!

Oh, and there was a wonderful article in this month’s Birds Magazine which raised concerns about the falling numbers of UFO/Alien sightings and asked whether this might be due to the environmental damage we’re causing to the earth. This was of particular interest to birders as crop circles make very good nesting sites and there should be more of them. Fabulous. Good to see that Birds Mag remains, as ever, on the cutting edge of science.

I managed a walk round campus at lunchtime – I’m making the most of the glorious sunshine here as at the moment Portugal is a rain-drenched land. Sigh. And tonight, I’ll pop into see Gladys on the way home. Am also planning to do a few more sentences to Hallsfoot’s Battle, as I have some ideas in my head about where Johan is going which I’d like to get down.

Today’s nice things:

1. The Thorn review
2. Lunchtime sunshine
3. Writing.

Anne Brooke
Anne’s website
Goldenford Publishers

Carried on typing up yesterday’s minutes this morning and attempting to sort out the teething troubles on my new computer, ie no printing facilities, emails that go through copious spellchecks before being sent and my missing screensaves. After all, how am I supposed to get through the day without seeing the front covers of all my books drifting before my eyes??… I can’t survive without at least some ego massage, you know.

Anyway, this lunchtime, I have had the University Writers Group – very enjoyable as always. I think it’s best if I take my calming pills beforehand though, not being a natural leader. And I have stolen an idea from the adorable Nik Perring for the homework, so thanks for that, Nik!

This afternoon, I have minuted the Nursery Management Group, even though most people didn’t seem to be there. Which means we’ve had a heck of a lot of biscuits to eat up. Ah it’s a tough job, but someone’s got to do it. I brought back a secret supply of them for the office and have already demolished the chocolate chip cookie option. Mmm …

And tonight, to crown my Meetings Extravaganza Day, I will be minuting the Goldenford meeting. Upcoming Goldenford things to look forward to: the event in Woking Library on 28 May, the talk in Freiburg in Germany on 12 June and our stall at the Writers Conference at the end of June. Ye gods, it’s all go over the summer! It’s astonishing we have time to write books at all.

Ooh, and I’m interested to see that, following the agent’s submission of The Gifting to the Powers That Be yesterday, Penguin in the States have been looking at my website. In shock and amazement, no doubt. However, the balance of the writing universe requires that for one vaguely hopeful thing offered, another crueller one is given. And so I am not entirely surprised to see that the latest critique of Thorn in the Flesh on the as yet unenterable Authonomy site seriously doesn’t like it. Hey ho. Mind you, I’m always rather chuffed to be called “muddled, fragmented and confusing”. Dahlings, it’s so me!

Today’s nice things:

1. University Writers Group
2. Goldenford
3. Putting the words “Penguin” and “looking at my website” in the same sentence – heck, I’m all for (very) short-lived bursts of hope and glory!

Anne Brooke
Anne’s website
Goldenford Publishers

Good grief. Monday again – funny how quickly the darn day comes round. Also annoying that I feel fine today, having felt like a squeezed-out sponge all Saturday and Sunday. Typical!

Anyway, today, I have caught up with my emails and it looks like nothing too drastic happened while I’ve been away. Thank goodness. I’ve had to get my Focus Hat on this lunchtime though, as I’ve had to minute the Steering Group meeting. And I’m not convinced that particular hat is entirely uncrumpled today really.

And Ruth tells me that she and Douglas drove to a car show over the weekend in their old campervan, but the organisers got the wrong end of the stick and they ended up in the showing arena, where people had to give them points for presentation. It would have been hugely embarrassing if they’d won, as they hadn’t actually entered – but in the end Ruth thinks they only achieved a couple of sympathy votes anyway. Next time, she’ll try to remember to wash the van before they go anywhere in it …

But joy! My new computer has finally arrived and been installed – it’s wonderfully fast. I can get into all my folders in less than a minute from start-up now, instead of the usual ten minutes it’s been taking each morning. What will I do with that spare ten minutes now though?…

We’ve also celebrated the Special Birthday (capitals deliberate, and, no, I’m not saying which it is!) of Beryl in Student Advice with teatime cakes. Mmm … Makes Monday suddenly worthwhile, you know.

Still, back to reality – have had to trog round Tesco after work, dammit, before experiencing the existential bliss of being back at home. And I’m not intending to do very much at all tonight – too much excitement in one day is bad for me after all.

Today’s nice things:

1. Cakes
2. Ruth’s campervan
3. An evening in – eventually

Anne Brooke
Anne’s website
Goldenford Publishers

Really, nothing much has happened today. Though I have been feeling a sight better than yesterday, thank the Lord. I just feel utterly and permanently exhausted. Thus explaining this morning’s gloriously long lie-in - no chance of my planned visit to the Quakers then - and this afternoon’s two-hour (or thereabouts) nap. Days can be so tiring, you know. It’s astonishing I get through them at all.

So instead of holiness or the creative effort of writing, I’ve been catching up with my TV viewing and sudokus. I’m pleased I have finally managed to see “Miss Austen Regrets” which I videoed about five hundred years ago and which has been lurking in the To Be Watched pile ever since. I quite enjoyed it really - but it was all very sad. If clever.

I did also manage to do a few more words to Hallsfoot’s Battle yesterday. I’m starting off with Duncan Gelahn, the baddie, this time. It’s about time he got a voice of his own in Book 2 of the Gathandrian Trilogy (as I’m calling it in my head) - he’s only talked about and encountered (to hopefully scary effect) in The Gifting. Once I’ve got a decent looking Chapter One extract to Hallsfoot, I’ll upload that onto my website too, but not yet awhile.

Oh, and the cuckoo is back, but later on a Sunday - not till 2.30pm. Dirty little stop-out. Also, I’ve just finished the next in Joseph Hansen’s Brandstetter (gay PI) series, Troublemaker. Very enjoyable as ever - they’re so sharply written you could scratch yourself on the pages and bleed to death, but I did get confused about the plot in this one. And Dave Brandstetter’s boyfriend is an arse. Sorry, but he is. Thank God later in the series, Dave ditches him and takes up with the glorious Cecil. Actually, reading the whole twelve Brandstetter books is more of a re-read as I first encountered them all in my early teenage years. Which possibly explains a lot about my writing style and indeed my characters. Colchester Library has a lot to answer for, don’t you know.

Tonight, I’m going to flop like a gutted salmon on the sofa and take in the delights of the third Indiana Jones offering. Yes, yes, I know “Brokeback Mountain” is on the other side, but really, dahlings, naturally I already have the DVD of that one, and anyway the book is a damn sight better. And even more so now I can read it and imagine the glorious Jake Gyllenhaal.

And this week’s haiku is:

On this summer night
I wear the skin of the past.
It hangs looser now.

Today’s nice things:

1. Napping
2. Reading
3. TV.

Anne Brooke
Anne’s website
Goldenford Publishers

A very quiet day today, people. This ruddy cold has really wiped me out all day and I’ve been languishing all over the flat making faint groaning sounds. So, a normal weekend then, here in the deep south. At least I am keeping Mr Lucozade in business. Not to mention Mr Kleenex. If there was ever an Olympic sport in snorting like an old horse, the gold medal would already have my name on it. As it were.

I have not been entirely useless though. I have revamped the Goldenford site book pages so each book in the main listing has a thumbnail picture of the front cover next to it, which you can see here. Though I say it myself, we do some shit-hot covers here in Goldenford country.

I’ve also been thrilled to discover that the lovely and hugely talentedLisa Glass has very kindly added A Dangerous Man to her Book Depository Top Ten List, calling it An erotic page-turner about a violent artist and his stockbroker lover. Gripping plot and sharp characterisation. Gosh, thanks, Lisa - much appreciated indeed!

Ooh, and we have a cuckoo in the street. Joy! We’re hearing it every morning at about 10.30 at the moment - it’s obviously a late riser, though I suppose it doesn’t have the children to take care of so can probably party all night, the little goer. You never see the damn thing of course, but it’s a wonderful sound.

Tonight, I’m collapsing in front of “Dr Who”, which has a marvellous-sounding Agatha Christie plot. And of course there’s “Pushing Daisies”. And, I hope, an early night and a more energetic day tomorrow.

Today’s nice things:

1. Updating the Goldenford site
2. Lisa’s review of A Dangerous Man
3. TV.

Anne Brooke
Anne’s website
Goldenford Publishers - with pictures!

First off, I do have to say that actually last night in London wasn’t as strange and scary as I’d feared. I did still feel that I was putting on a costume that no longer suited me, but it was okay. Perhaps it’s everyone else that’s normal and just me who’s strange? Lordy, no, don’t answer me on that one. I also felt pleased as a couple of times, I did say something honest during the conversation - not in an over-the-top way, but I just said a sentence or two about (a) mutual friends I no longer see, and (b) church stuff, and then moved on. Ye gods, even I can be real during social interaction sometimes - well, it has been known …

Anyway, to today. There is good news and some not-so-good news. I am incredibly pleased that the agent has got back to me about The Gifting and has said the magic words: It reads wonderfully well, the characterisation works and the writing and story flows. You know, that makes me feel so damn good that I’m going to type it again: It reads wonderfully well, the characterisation works and the writing and story flows. High-five, captain - it looks like I can on occasion turn dross into something a tad shinier then. Yes. As a result, he’s going to send it out to five UK fantasy publishers and six US fantasy publishers on Monday. Ah, I feel good now, Carruthers, but alas soon the rejections will start to roll in, you know. Still, I’m hanging onto the moment for as long as I damn well can.

Also today, I have gone for my dreaded smear test (groan) - it’s so hard to make jolly conversation with the nurse if you’re in that position really, but we did our best. There’s something to be said for the Empire Spirit after all. So that’s one doctorly act done. The other isn’t quite so straightforward, I fear. I’ve finally (after a chasing telephone call last week) had the results of my ultrasound scan & hormonal blood tests back. The good news is that I am happily trogging on with my oestrogen fix without any horrendous side-effects, hurrah! The less good news is that they’re not that happy about the non-standard cyst on my left ovary and I have to go back in July for a chat and a recommended ovarian tumour marker test. The words “tiny” and “for reassurance only” crop up in the letter, but this naturally doesn’t make that glorious swoop of terror that comes upon one when reading such things any the less. (Hell, there’s a phrase I should be able to use sometime.) Naturally, because I have never been able to resist temptation, I have Googled the damn thing, which hasn’t made it any better either. Damn you for an Internet-aware idiot, madam! You’ll be pleased to hear however that I didn’t stay on that particular site for long - even I know that sometimes less is more.

Galvanised by this into abnormality, I have at least regrouted the bathroom tiles in a cheat’s way so everything looks cleaner and shinier. Goodness me, that grouting pen is a marvel! Lord H will be pleased. Mind you, he is still streets ahead of me in the Spouse Awards running at the moment - while I was in London last night, he cleaned the whole flat, hoovered, swept the floors and washed all the windows down. Oh, and he also did my ironing. Whilst saving the universe and brokering World Peace as well. Perhaps I should go out more often? I fear, alas, that now my Wife Points will never be enough!

The news about The Gifting also seems to have opened some kind of door to a decision. I’ve started the next in the fantasy trilogy, Hallsfoot’s Battle. Good Lord! So I now have a character list, a note of themes and the grand total of 463 words scattered over the first and final chapters. Hell, it’s a start. And yes, I have written the end, which might even remain the end when I arrive at it. Who knows? Only another 139,500 words to go and I’m there then. Hey ho.

And I’ve read Harlan Coben’s The Woods. Bloody superb. Best thing he’s bloody done for years. I loved it! In spite of the fact that he does use some of my basic scenarios and death scene ideas from both Maloney’s Law and The Bones of Summer, dammit. Ah, great writing minds think alike, you know - I wish!! Or perhaps there are only three crime novels plots after all?… Anyway, it’s a wonderful book and you should all rush out and buy it. Goddammit.

Oh, and I’ve got a cold. Bugger, eh.

Today’s nice things:

1. The agent’s response to The Gifting - hell, I’ll type it again just in case you missed it: It reads wonderfully well, the characterisation works and the writing and story flows.
2. The Coben book
3. Starting the next novel.

Anne Brooke
Anne’s website
Goldenford Publishers

Have spent this morning updating the Goldenford website with information on Irene Black’s upcoming novel, Darshan - which is a gripping and literary tale of a young Indian woman’s search for her UK roots. You can read the beginning here. We’re hoping to publish it over the summer, so watch this space!

I’ve also updated the News section with the details of Goldenford’s June visit to Germany - a Surrey publisher goes international, so all exciting stuff!

For the rest of the day … well, quite frankly, I’ve napped. And chilled. Lordy but I need it. Haven’t even faced the ironing yet, but hell these things can wait. We will just have to be crumpled for a while. A state of being we should be used to, after all.

I’ve also decided that - bearing in mind all my editing is done and that’s the promise I made, at least to myself - that I will go up to London tonight (reluctantly) to see the old University girls. Actually I was originally intending simply not to go and not say anything, as I assumed my editing wouldn’t be finished. Lord H did suggest earlier in the week (when, yes, I’ve been agonising) that the answer would be to work more slowly, but I can’t do that. The editing speed is the editing speed; it’s either “on” or “off”. So I can’t say I’m looking forward to my night out. Sorry, as I do know that probably makes me some kind of bitch with no idea of the value of “friendship” (inverted commas are deliberate), but I’m just not. Ah well. Unwillingly to school is the feeling here. And I’m very, very twitchy. None of us seem to see each other as we really are any more - nor do we want to, in my opinion - so it feels like flogging the dead horse (apologies for the cliche) of friendship when it’s been down and mouldering for some years now. It’s just that nobody’s noticed it. Or perhaps we’ve just ignored it is the more accurate statement. Anyway, ye gods, what an image. Sorry.

And, hell, it’s London. I don’t much like going to London. God, sorry about the moaning too. I’d slap myself into some sense if I could summon the energy.

One thing though - I’ve moved on in my “next novel thoughts” to thinking I don’t want to do a comedy after all. At least not today. Dark grittiness, angst and pain are more the thing. Hell, it’s just so much more me, dahhlings.

Today’s nice things:

1. Updating the Goldenford site
2. Napping
3. Um, um, coming home later!

Anne Brooke
Anne’s website
Goldenford Publishers