Muddling through, again …

Couldn’t get really excited about this morning’s meditation but here it is anyway. It’s much like it is really: 

Meditation 172

There’s nothing
in the store today –
all the words are blank.

Somewhere far away,
great men
and great deeds

go about their business,
but here, where I am,
it’s empty and dark

and astonishingly quiet.

Still feeling very low this week, as you can probably tell. This is something of a surprise as it’s not the right time of the month for this kind of thing, but there it is. Everything seems very slow – it’s like walking around whilst carrying a huge and very heavy cloak over my shoulders. Very strange. Still taking the happy pills though and hoping for the best. This morning I was sorting lunch out in the kitchen whilst groaning so Lord H brought me the toy puffin so I could cuddle it, sets its cry off (puffins sound like cows in labour having a very bad time) and groan in unison – so at least I didn’t feel too alone. What a hero.

Talking of heroes, this week’s are Carol for being lovely and wanting to help people (at the moment, I simply want to avoid them so I am more than impressed by this), Chaplaincy Ruth’s son’s teacher, and the lass from Marketing who’s been landed in the deep end and is doing an amazing job in very tricky circumstances.

At lunchtime I walked into town to pay in a cheque and post off the copy of Maloney’s Law to the charity bid winner. Actually I was late back as I didn’t feel at all well, to be honest. Groan. So this afternoon, I’m trying to take it easy but I’m still struggling with making sense of yesterday’s Forum minutes. My interest levels are at an all-time low which isn’t making it any simpler, I must say. It took a Starbucks decaff cappuccino to revive me – even a little.

Tonight, I’ll do a bit more to the Hallsfoot’s Battle edit, if possible. Ooh and I also signed off the final PDF for my story in the upcomingDisasters and Miracles anthology yesterday, so it looks like things are moving there. And I’m looking forward to Who Do You Think You Are? and Ugly Betty on tonight – ideal chilling out/interest material.

Today’s nice things:

1. Poetry
2. Paying a cheque in
3. Posting Maloney
4. Starbucks
5. Editing
6. Preparation for Disasters and Miracles
7. TV.

Anne Brooke – in the spaced-out zone, as ever …


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